Athens

We got up at 8 AM again. After a quick shower and ‘breakfast’ at the hostel- bread with nutella and instant coffee- we were off. Itinerary included: the Parthenon because it was only five minutes from our hostel, followed by just finding whatever else was closest and going from there.


So Brian and I begin at the Acropolis. Wandering around the ancient ruins, I remembered when in the British museum and there were all these sculptures that used be on the side of the Parthenon. I recall wondering at the museum, if there was so much there, what really could be left at the Parthenon.

The answer: very little.

The buildings were still there, but there was no decoration on the side of the building. I have no idea how the Brits got their hands on the art. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think their empire ever got to Greece, but one way or another they managed it somehow.


Now I don’t know where these dudes came from, I swear some of them materialized out of the Earth, but with in 30 seconds of the first drop hitting the ground, all of these guys hawking umbrellas showed up.

Now as a child, I was not allowed to have an umbrella because my mother feared, probably rightly, that I would attack my brother with it, break it, or break it while in the process of trying to attack my brother. So after being denied the joys of umbrellas for over 13 years of my life, whenever I am given the opportunity to use an umbrella I relish it. All the joys that come with an umbrella for only 5 euros?

Mais oui!

With my umbrella, we went down the hill to pay our respects at the Theatre of Dionysus. When the rain seemed to be letting up, we went back out into the garden and while I was taking a picture, an Indian lady with her son walked up to Brian.

“Do you know where this is?” (points to something on a piece of paper)
“No sorry, were tourists too, we don’t really know where anything is”
“Oh great! Why don’t you come along with us and we can visit all of these places together?!”

So I took a peek at the paper, and she had an entire itinerary of all the big sites in Athens listed and mapped out. So for the two of us, who really had no idea what to do or where to go once we got away from the Parthenon this was a rather appealing offer.

So we join up with our new tour guide and set off for some pottery and trinket museum. Not really my cup of tea, but she had EVERYTHING in Athens on that list, and then some and since I had just about given up seeing everything I had wanted to see in Athens because of our time constraints, no plan, and no map, I wasn’t going to pipe up for a change of plans.

I decide to start making small talk with my friend.



“So how old are you?”
“10”
“Is your Dad here also?”
“No hes back in India working. We are here with my aunt Bobbie, shes a senior citizen.”
“Oh where is she?”
“We lost her.”
“Uhhh you lost her?”
“Yea this happens a lot, she always just wanders away from us.”

I had visions of some 70 year old wrinkly Indian woman wrapped in a sari and running around lost in the mean streets of Athens. I couldn’t figure out why this kid wasn’t more worried over losing senior-citizen ‘Bobbie.’

“Well, how are you going to find her?”
“Oh she will just meet us at the hotel.”

Well if this kid wasn’t worried, then I figured I shouldn’t be either and decided to change the subject.
“ So how do you like Athens?”
“I hate it!”
“You hate it? Whys that?”
“I really wanted to go somewhere else”
“Ohh I see. Where did you want to go instead?”

The following is the best quote of the trip thus far—

“Detroit.”
“BAHAHA….Detroit?! Detroit Michigan? Why the hell…excuse me, why in the WORLD, would you rather go to Detroit, Michigan?!”
“Well, that’s where my favorite rapper is from!”

I knew the answer to the question before I even asked it, but just wanted to make sure…
“Eminem?”
“Yea yea! Eminem I love him! I wish I was in Detroit right now, instead of Athens.”

I had to pause right quick and evaluate the situation:

- In Athens
- Talking to 10 year old from India
- This Indian child loves Slim Shady
- He would much rather be in one of the worst cities in America, Detroit, than in Athens.
- The senior citizen in their group has gone missing and no one seems to mind.

After leaving the museum, we make our way to Greek Parliament to see the changing of the guards. On our way, my little companion gets all excited and says,

“There’s Bubby!”

My vision of a huddled over old biddy from India with a cane and a sari was shattered. Straight ahead is an Indian woman who’s age was about 50, max. She was rocking sneaks, a sweat suit, and a baseball hat that said I (heart) NY. She looked about as Indian as I look Chinese.

Neither Brian nor myself knew what we were in for with Bubby.

First she gave us cakes that she the nuns/monks had given her inside the Greek Church and told us to feed them to the birds. Whether or not these were stolen is open to conjecture.

Next, she told us to take her picture as she went up to the Parliament guard. Seemingly standard. Now the guards are the type who are not allowed to move/react to passers by. So imagine my surprise when this ‘senior citizen’ goes up, hides behind the guard, and then peeks around him. I wish I had taken the picture with my camera instead of hers.

The guards were not ‘changing’ because of the rain, so we continued on our way to the gardens. Bubby picked oranges off of the tree, took a bite, krinkled her face, spat it out, and threw the rest on the ground.

“Oranges? You call these oranges?! I have had better tasting lemons! These trees should be taken up and burned on Mt. Olympus!”

After the nasty orange trees, we went down to the Temple of Zeus.

Someone had misinformed Bubby.










She was convinced that this was the ancient Olympic staduim. So she said

“Ill race you! 1-2-3 GO!”

Off she went running around the temple.

Then she requested that I take another picture of her, this time, pretending to get off the blocks at the start of the 400 meter dash.

Again, a pause to assess the situation:

-Im at the Temple of Zeus, one of mankind’s greatest accomplishments
-Following around a 10 year old Indian boy who loves Eminem, his mother who is playing tour guide, and his aunt/senior citizen who must have smoked 15 crack rocks when she woke up this morning
-said ‘senior citizen’ is crouched on all fours like shes Flo Jo
-im holding the camera

Just another day in the life….

At this point the question was raised as to who is bigger nut job, Bubby or Mama. After all this time, I still am unsure.

Bubby then hopped under the fence, clearly marked DO NO ENTER, hopped on top of the remnants of a 2000+ year old column, and declared herself the winner of the 400 meter dash.

Again, I was on photo duty.

After the temple of Zeus, we headed towards the real Olympic stadium but not before sliding (breaking?) into the Athens tennis club. Apparently they have some big deal tournament there because I saw a couple names up on the wall that I recognized. What it is, I couldn’t tell you.

At the cross walk, a taxi stopped and asked for a ride, it went something like this,
“Taxi?”
“No thank you”
“Are you from the United States?”
“Yes” -Me
“YAYYY Hillary!” -Bubby
“Hillary? F*** Her!” Taxi driver
“Oh so your not Hillary fan?” Me
“No. I prefer Lewinsky.” Taxi driver then speeds off

It was just a quick walk then to the first modern Olympic stadium. I wish I had something exciting to say here, but it was a stadium all right. Track, seats, the whole nine yards. They had a nice bathroom though.

This was the end of our friends list, and we had a flight to catch to Rome, and so ended our 5 hour whirl wind tour of Athens.