Athens

We got up at 8 AM again. After a quick shower and ‘breakfast’ at the hostel- bread with nutella and instant coffee- we were off. Itinerary included: the Parthenon because it was only five minutes from our hostel, followed by just finding whatever else was closest and going from there.


So Brian and I begin at the Acropolis. Wandering around the ancient ruins, I remembered when in the British museum and there were all these sculptures that used be on the side of the Parthenon. I recall wondering at the museum, if there was so much there, what really could be left at the Parthenon.

The answer: very little.

The buildings were still there, but there was no decoration on the side of the building. I have no idea how the Brits got their hands on the art. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think their empire ever got to Greece, but one way or another they managed it somehow.


Now I don’t know where these dudes came from, I swear some of them materialized out of the Earth, but with in 30 seconds of the first drop hitting the ground, all of these guys hawking umbrellas showed up.

Now as a child, I was not allowed to have an umbrella because my mother feared, probably rightly, that I would attack my brother with it, break it, or break it while in the process of trying to attack my brother. So after being denied the joys of umbrellas for over 13 years of my life, whenever I am given the opportunity to use an umbrella I relish it. All the joys that come with an umbrella for only 5 euros?

Mais oui!

With my umbrella, we went down the hill to pay our respects at the Theatre of Dionysus. When the rain seemed to be letting up, we went back out into the garden and while I was taking a picture, an Indian lady with her son walked up to Brian.

“Do you know where this is?” (points to something on a piece of paper)
“No sorry, were tourists too, we don’t really know where anything is”
“Oh great! Why don’t you come along with us and we can visit all of these places together?!”

So I took a peek at the paper, and she had an entire itinerary of all the big sites in Athens listed and mapped out. So for the two of us, who really had no idea what to do or where to go once we got away from the Parthenon this was a rather appealing offer.

So we join up with our new tour guide and set off for some pottery and trinket museum. Not really my cup of tea, but she had EVERYTHING in Athens on that list, and then some and since I had just about given up seeing everything I had wanted to see in Athens because of our time constraints, no plan, and no map, I wasn’t going to pipe up for a change of plans.

I decide to start making small talk with my friend.



“So how old are you?”
“10”
“Is your Dad here also?”
“No hes back in India working. We are here with my aunt Bobbie, shes a senior citizen.”
“Oh where is she?”
“We lost her.”
“Uhhh you lost her?”
“Yea this happens a lot, she always just wanders away from us.”

I had visions of some 70 year old wrinkly Indian woman wrapped in a sari and running around lost in the mean streets of Athens. I couldn’t figure out why this kid wasn’t more worried over losing senior-citizen ‘Bobbie.’

“Well, how are you going to find her?”
“Oh she will just meet us at the hotel.”

Well if this kid wasn’t worried, then I figured I shouldn’t be either and decided to change the subject.
“ So how do you like Athens?”
“I hate it!”
“You hate it? Whys that?”
“I really wanted to go somewhere else”
“Ohh I see. Where did you want to go instead?”

The following is the best quote of the trip thus far—

“Detroit.”
“BAHAHA….Detroit?! Detroit Michigan? Why the hell…excuse me, why in the WORLD, would you rather go to Detroit, Michigan?!”
“Well, that’s where my favorite rapper is from!”

I knew the answer to the question before I even asked it, but just wanted to make sure…
“Eminem?”
“Yea yea! Eminem I love him! I wish I was in Detroit right now, instead of Athens.”

I had to pause right quick and evaluate the situation:

- In Athens
- Talking to 10 year old from India
- This Indian child loves Slim Shady
- He would much rather be in one of the worst cities in America, Detroit, than in Athens.
- The senior citizen in their group has gone missing and no one seems to mind.

After leaving the museum, we make our way to Greek Parliament to see the changing of the guards. On our way, my little companion gets all excited and says,

“There’s Bubby!”

My vision of a huddled over old biddy from India with a cane and a sari was shattered. Straight ahead is an Indian woman who’s age was about 50, max. She was rocking sneaks, a sweat suit, and a baseball hat that said I (heart) NY. She looked about as Indian as I look Chinese.

Neither Brian nor myself knew what we were in for with Bubby.

First she gave us cakes that she the nuns/monks had given her inside the Greek Church and told us to feed them to the birds. Whether or not these were stolen is open to conjecture.

Next, she told us to take her picture as she went up to the Parliament guard. Seemingly standard. Now the guards are the type who are not allowed to move/react to passers by. So imagine my surprise when this ‘senior citizen’ goes up, hides behind the guard, and then peeks around him. I wish I had taken the picture with my camera instead of hers.

The guards were not ‘changing’ because of the rain, so we continued on our way to the gardens. Bubby picked oranges off of the tree, took a bite, krinkled her face, spat it out, and threw the rest on the ground.

“Oranges? You call these oranges?! I have had better tasting lemons! These trees should be taken up and burned on Mt. Olympus!”

After the nasty orange trees, we went down to the Temple of Zeus.

Someone had misinformed Bubby.










She was convinced that this was the ancient Olympic staduim. So she said

“Ill race you! 1-2-3 GO!”

Off she went running around the temple.

Then she requested that I take another picture of her, this time, pretending to get off the blocks at the start of the 400 meter dash.

Again, a pause to assess the situation:

-Im at the Temple of Zeus, one of mankind’s greatest accomplishments
-Following around a 10 year old Indian boy who loves Eminem, his mother who is playing tour guide, and his aunt/senior citizen who must have smoked 15 crack rocks when she woke up this morning
-said ‘senior citizen’ is crouched on all fours like shes Flo Jo
-im holding the camera

Just another day in the life….

At this point the question was raised as to who is bigger nut job, Bubby or Mama. After all this time, I still am unsure.

Bubby then hopped under the fence, clearly marked DO NO ENTER, hopped on top of the remnants of a 2000+ year old column, and declared herself the winner of the 400 meter dash.

Again, I was on photo duty.

After the temple of Zeus, we headed towards the real Olympic stadium but not before sliding (breaking?) into the Athens tennis club. Apparently they have some big deal tournament there because I saw a couple names up on the wall that I recognized. What it is, I couldn’t tell you.

At the cross walk, a taxi stopped and asked for a ride, it went something like this,
“Taxi?”
“No thank you”
“Are you from the United States?”
“Yes” -Me
“YAYYY Hillary!” -Bubby
“Hillary? F*** Her!” Taxi driver
“Oh so your not Hillary fan?” Me
“No. I prefer Lewinsky.” Taxi driver then speeds off

It was just a quick walk then to the first modern Olympic stadium. I wish I had something exciting to say here, but it was a stadium all right. Track, seats, the whole nine yards. They had a nice bathroom though.

This was the end of our friends list, and we had a flight to catch to Rome, and so ended our 5 hour whirl wind tour of Athens.

Santorini Day II

For our second, and final day in Santorini, we got up at 8:30, which in the land of classes at 3:30 in the afternoon, I have come to consider deathly early.

For breakfast we of course went to Mama’s. She was on her A game this morning. Quote include-
“Oh God! You all again?”
“I did not want to tell you this, I wanted it to be surprise. But this November I go to visit Cris’s (our family friend who lives down the street and is Mama’s niece). I am going to come and sneak in your house, then find your room, and scream and wake you up! You will be so excited you will pee pee the bed! Then I make you breakfast.”


To two girls who walked in- “Did you girls behave last night?
“Nope.”
“Did you drink?”
“Duh. Its spring break!”
“Bad Girls!” Accompanied by a slap on the ass

When we go to take a picture with her, instead of saying cheese she says “Always Safe Sex!”

After the most cracked out breakfast this side of Peewee’s Playhouse, we left on our ATVs.

Destination: Unknown

We drove up to Oia on the north coast. Its kind of mind blowing that people actually live there. We drove around seeing what there was to see, me looking like a moron tourist pulling over every 5 feet and taking pictures in between taking my hands off the ATV and trying to take them while moving.

We really really really wanted to go cliff jumping into the water. But alas, we didn’t find any cliffs that were not listed in the Bear Sterns employee handbook under “Best Ways to End It All.”

So with cliff jumping not happening anytime soon, we settled for a beach. After putting our suits and making it a nude beach for a quick second, we got up the water and decided there was no way. I got half way up to my legs and called the Mediterranean's bluff. Remember when I said it was the off-season? There is a reason for that.









While I could go for another 4 inches or so on my height, on the ATVs pint size is an advantage. Brian easily has about 70 pounds on me, so when we both floored the ATVs I would go by him like he was using only half throttle. In addition, I went WHIPPING around the curves. The ATV may or may not have come close to tipping over like a Ford Explorer sitting on Firestones more than once.

After playing National Geographic photogs, went back to Mama’s for the second time in 3 hours because she had insisted that we be full so that we would not have to, in her words, “eat that shit on the boat”

I don’t know why we went. Neither Brian nor myself were hungry. So I had yogurt with fruit and honey. It sounds a little boring, but it was bomb ass. I don’t know what was in the honey, maybe some MSG, but it was the nectar of the gods.

With full bellies, we went back to return the ATVs. I had noticed marks on the tires from fishtailing around curves and significantly weaker brakes than when I started…shocking I know. So I dropped my cash on the table, snagged my ID which had been held as collateral, and booked it out of there ASAP before a through inspection and the resulting charges could take place.

We bummed around for a bit, went back to the internet café AKA a geek's dream, collected our baggage from the hotel and got on the ferry. Mind you now, we spent about as much time as we did on the first ferry as we did on Santorini itself. Needless to say, expectations were less than high.

So imagine my excitement when the ferry included two bars, big comfy seats with TVs playing The Swan, and best of all A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT. I woulda been kinda ok with getting stuck on this ship

Now if you don’t remember The Swan, it’s the reality show circa 2002 where they take the most busted up looking people they can find, give them full body plastic surgery makeovers, and then have them compete in a beauty pageant where one will be crowed, 'The Swan'.

Yea. It’s as good as it sounds.

I TIVOed the entire season.

We ended up chatting with a girl who goes to Bryn Mawr. Upon hearing this news, I guess I made a face to which she replied, “and no…im not a lezzie.”

I really need to learn to get my expressions under control before entering the corporate world.

“This is the Bosses Daughter”
“Oh! Pleasure to meet you.” Says my mouth
“Have you sent your entry to Fox for the next season of The Swan yet?” Says my face.

But I digress, it turns out she friendly with a girl from my high school. We didn’t really run in the same circles, but since our last names were close on the alphabet we would often be close to each other if we had a class together. She’s was pretty chill and always had great little quips in the back of AP English. So what up Alison Reingold if your reading this.

Turns out our new friend had some Greek in her and that she would be staying with her aunt who reserved a reputable taxi for her and offered to split the cab with us. We jumped at this because there was a whole section on the dangers of the shady Athens taxis in my guidebook. Since we were not looking to get our valuables or vital organs stolen it made sense.

We did not get to our hostel until 2 AM and our plane for Rome was leaving at 5:30 that evening. Factoring in time to get to the airport, checking in, and not to mention sleeping, this gave us a little over 6 hours of playtime in Athens.

Plan? Of course not.

What me worry?

Santorini Day 1

At 6:30 AM, we were finally told that we would be getting off the boat. For those of you keeping track, that’s 24 hours late and about 36 hours total spent on H.M.S. tourist trap.

Emphasis on the trap.

I spent the night on and actual bed in one of the rooms on board because I would have slit my wrists (vertically) if I had to sleep in the movie theater seats again. Brian was asleep when I asked him if he wanted to join me so he wasn’t really that into it. It was probably a good thing he stayed behind because he met three girls who were planning on staying in the same hotel as we were and they had called the hotel so that the shuttle would be sent down for us.

When we get to the hotel, we met my Poppy. To my surprise, Poppy was a chick and she runs the joint. She told us that since our reservations were for Monday and Tuesday, we could stay in the room until 1:30 in the afternoon to rest, but we would have to check out then and there was no guarantee that we would have a room this evening since we had no reservation. Whatever. I figured that if I had to, I could sleep in the movie theater seats again.

While Brian showered for the first time in about two and a half days I rested my eyes. When he got out, he asked me if I wanted to get going or sleep more. I said both, which while impossible it was exactly how I felt. Too tired to get going, but seeing as how we had already lost 36 hours to the ferry and only had one day here, I just had get up and to carpe the stuffing out of the diam. Plus, I a can always sleep when I’m dead.

Brian and I thought it would be a really good idea for us to rent mopeds. What better way for us to blend in with the locals than putting the fun between our legs and zooming through traffic? We found a shop that rented bikes and he asked if we had a motorcycle license. Nope but we had drivers licenses. Then he asked on of the more poignant questions of the trip so far. “Do you know how to ride one?”

Answer, “No, but can you teach us.”
Counter Answer, “Always these people ask me to ride something when they do not know how. That is not smart. Why do you ask to do something you do not know how? Sorry but no. A car would be safer for you.”

Score one logic point, and potentially thousands of dollars in medical insurance claims, for the moped guy.

On the quest for a car, we instead found ATVs. These had multiple advantages over our other alternate modes of transportation; four wheels=balance, cheaper, have experience with them, both of us could drive there by upping the fun factor, easily maneuverable in small spaces.

The guy who rented us the ATVs warned us that people here do not drive with rules like in the states. Instead, he told us to treat it ‘like a war zone.’

The ATV was by far THE BEST twenty five euros I have spent on the entire trip thus far because of not only the above reasons, but it let us go so so many more places than we would have been able to on foot or by the bus. I originally learned the importance of four wheels and a motor last year when we rented a car in St. Thomas, but this reminded me why its so crucial.

If you ever go to an island, just suck it up and get your own transportation. Its well worth the investment and you’ll thank yourself.

After making our purchase, we then went on a quest to find Mama’s. ‘Mama’ is the aunt of one of our good family friends who lives on the island and also owns a restaurant. I had never met her, but spoke to her on the phone when we were imprisoned on the ferry. When I spoke to her yesterday on the phone, she first, wanted to make sure I was ok, called me baby probably close to 25 times, and demanded that if we were able to dock that day that I call her so she could take us to our hotel. It was easy to see why ‘mama’ is our friend’s favorite aunt.

Saying we had a rough idea where to go would be generous. Looking back on it, we took the most round about way getting there, passed the place at least one if not twice, and came this close l------l to losing each other on the mean streets of Santorini.

Eventually, we got hungry enough that we swallowed our pride, and asked for direction. The first guy told us it was about 200 meters on the right. I have no idea how far this is since I am American and don’t use such silly systems based in logic. Although I did swim for more than half of my life and used to be able to get there in a little over two minutes in my hay day, so it shouldn’t be too far.

Then we went what had to be way over two hundred meters, and asked for directions again. This time Mama’s was now 500 meters on the right. As Brian said, this meant one of two things, A) the first guy also does not know the metric system either or B) he just wanted to mess with us.

We made it to Mama’s, and she was just as great as she sounded on the phone. First order of business was to give me a big hug from Cris, then make sure I was ok, and had a place to sleep for the night- which was still up in the air at that time.

Mama’s is not only warmhearted but as I had been warned before hand, ‘a kick.’ or as I would put it, off her rocker. When she is not out in the dining room making a spectacle over the freshness of the orange juice, she is in the kitchen cooking and harassing each customer who walks in the door by demanding that they “say good morning to Mama!”

We got to talking to the people at the table next to us, told them our tales of woe, how we knew Mama, and we then come to find out that they are from Bethesda, and live about 10-15 minutes from my house. I’m how many 1000s of miles from home and sit down next to someone less than 5 miles away from my house?

I’ve lost count of how many small world moments I’ve had in the last 3 months.

Breakfast was the best I’ve had in a while, omelet, hash brown, and toast for a very reasonable 5 euro. It was a nice change from croissants and jelly. Breakfast actually ended up being on the house, did I mention she was nice?, we made sure to leave a good sized tip and promised Mama we would return tomorrow. This time with the camera so we could take a picture of one of the less forgettable characters of our trip so far.

After breakfast, we went to Kamari beach, which is know for having black sand instead of the regular white/brown.

Fun Fact: Besides that its black, the sand is unique because it is really really small pebbles of volcanic rock, not grains like regular sand.

Less Fun Fact: When the wind blows hard like it was today, the sand hitting you feels like a bunch of small bullets.











Then we drove up the windy rode to Ancient Thira. Its about 1,200 feet above the beach. They close at 2:30 in the afternoon each day, we got there at about 2:20, and the guy told us it was closed. I would have liked to see the ruins, but it wasn’t going to happen.

After we got back down from the ruins, we called Poppy. You know when someone screams into the phone and all you hear is the reverberations and you can not hear them? Now add a thick Greek accent, and that’s what trying to talk to her on the phone was like. After asking her what the hell she was saying about 15 times, it turns out she had a room for us and we would not have to be homeless for the evening.

We got tired from lack of sleep for the previous two nights, and went to an internet café to chill out and get in contact with the rest of the world. This internet café was like nothing you had ever seen before. It was a nerds paradise. There were rows and rows of maxed out computers with kids playing World of Warcraft and other games for social butterflies. We just checked emails but made sure to snap photos when the geeks were not looking.










After the internet café, we drove around for a few hours exploring the island and snapping pictures. Santorini really does live up to the hype. It’s a place where just about every scene could be a photo.


Not much else happened after the sun went down, we went back to the hotel, had dinner, met a few kids who were also in our hotel and got some much needed rest.